I think it’s unfitting that we call bulldogs by that name.
The name “bulldog” implies that these dogs have something to do with the livestock controlling and bull-baiting dogs of yore.
That implication is an insult to all the real bulldogs out there.
These dogs herd cattle and sheep, catch wild hogs, and guard farms.
They are truly worthy of the name bulldog.
The thing called a bulldog today just isn’t worthy.
The dog doesn’t merit the name.
So I suggest that we rename it.
It really doesn’t look that much like a dog, does it?
But it does look a lot like a toad!
See the resemblance?
So from this time forth, this blog will no longer refer to the so-called English bulldog by that name.
We don’t want to insult the United Kingdom.
We really don’t want to insult real bulldogs.
Therefore, we shall refer to this breed as the toaddog.
The toaddog’s main claim to fame is that it is extraordinarily unhealthy because of its bizarre conformation.
It derives from the same ancestral stock as the boxer and the various American bulldogs, but it’s been bred to look like a warty old toad.
And in doing so, its breeders have done a great job of creating a dog that has a short miserable life that is full of crippling joint problems, overheating due to an inefficient cooling system, and chronic asphyxiation due to a partially blocked and distorted respiratory system.
Great job, toaddog fans!
You created a dog that is an absolute travesty of canine flesh.
And just keep doubling down on all that “there all healthy” and “your wrong” and “you must research the bread” talk.
You’re looking like Grade-A horses’ asses.
And it’s showing.
It’s like watching a Tom Cruise meltdown.
Just with dogs.