Posts Tagged ‘toaddog’

It’s all about what it looks like, and the only health features discussed are that the nostrils should be open. Never mind the rest of the dog’s respiratory and cooling system! He also repeats the Pravda-esque line that the undershot jaw is of some sort of utility in bull baiting.  Like this dog could ever be used for that purpose!


I suppose if the only dogs you ever spent much time with were bulldogs, you’d think they were just fine.

The conformation of this breed is a disgrace to the species Canis lupus familaris.

They, of course, don’t see it that way.

Better to breed freaks and win ribbons than pay any attention to animal welfare.

As I noted a few months ago, it’s actually an insult to call these dogs bulldogs. There are plenty of working breeds of bulldog in the United States.

No. I think a far better name for these animals is the Toaddog.

It’s not worthy of the history of the English butcher dog’s name.

It’s a freak, a monstrosity.

A burlesque.

A great tragedy.



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The big row on this blog last week was about bulldogs.

I received so many poorly written and poorly reasoned comments bashing some of my bulldog posts that I just wanted to scream.

And well, I did scream.

However, I noticed that not a single person refuted anything I wrote.

All they wanted to do was to either make a smokescreen and claim that because the Kennel Club (of the United Kingdom) has forced a rewrite of the bulldog standard that things were just fine now. Of course, this isn’t true– mainly because too many judges and the various self-appointed mandarins of the bulldog fancy have simply decided to ignore the changes.  The implementation of vet checks for best of breed at certain shows is something these people really hate. That’s because those vet checks continue to reveal that judges are putting up very defective dogs, and the bulldog fancy as a whole really doesn’t care how unhealthy the typical bulldog actually is.

And they really don’t.

And now we have proof.

One of the main talking points I kept seeing from the bulldog nutjobs last week was the claim that goes something like this:  “My dog is healthy! You’re wrong!”

Well, it now turns out that we have evidence that many owners of brachycephalic dogs are actually quite deluded about the real health of their dogs.

A recent study in the journal Animal Welfare (Packer 2012), revealed something rather disturbing:

A questionnaire-based study was carried out over five months on the owners of dogs referred to the Queen Mother Hospital for Animals (QMHA) for all clinical services, except for Emergency and Critical Care. Owners reported the frequency of respiratory difficulty and characteristics of respiratory noise in their dogs in four scenarios, summarised as an ‘owner-reported breathing’ (ORB) score. Owners then reported whether their dog currently has, or has a history of, ‘breathing problems’. Dogs (n = 285) representing 68 breeds were included, 31 of which were classed as ‘affected’ by BOAS either following diagnostics, or by fitting case criteria based on their ORB score, skull morphology and presence of stenotic nares. The median ORB score given by affected dogs’ owners was 20/40 (range 8-30). Over half (58%) of owners of affected dogs reported that their dog did not have a breathing problem. This marked disparity between owners’ reports of frequent, severe clinical signs and their perceived lack of a ‘breathing problem’ in their dogs is of concern.


So now when someone with a brachycephalic dog comes on here and blasts me with the talking point that his or her dog is fine, keep this little study in mind.

This person may be quite deluded about the actual health and welfare problems associated with brachycephalic obstructive airway syndrome– or just a liar.

The literature on the health and welfare problems associated with extreme brachycephaly is quite extensive– and quite damning.

The bulldog people have decided they don’t like what the literature says, and they’ve decided to try to shut down any criticism through  trying to shout down anyone who uses this literature to expose the real welfare issues associated with trying to breed a dog that looks like a toad.

You cannot believe these people.

You cannot trust what they say.

They simply refuse to acknowledge.

And if you won’t acknowledge a problem, it will never be solved.

Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt.

But delusion is even worse.

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Wrong fox

Some mastiff and bulldog and mastiff enthusiasts have been discussing this blog on World Mastiff Forum. I happen to like mastiffs very much–nice, very intelligent dogs.

But one of my detractors on the forum made a massive taxonomy error that I just can’t let stand:

I’m sorry. That’s just wrong.

The foxes in question were not silver foxes.

They were gray foxes, which aren’t even in the same tribe as silver foxes. A silver fox is just a color phase for the red fox, Vulpes vulpes.  The foxes in question were gray foxes, Urocyon cineroargenteus. Urocyon is a very distinct genus and evolutionary lineage in the dog family. It’s not closely related to any other dog species. It split off the main canid evolutionary tree 9 to 10 million years ago.

It’s about as distantly related as a dog can be still be a dog.

I should note that no one has refuted a thing I’ve written about toaddogs.

Not a word.

They can’t.

So what they do is throw nice little tantrums and hope someone gives a flying fig.

They are so caught up in my foul mouth, which I readily admit that I have, that they’ve refused to address any of the cogent points I’ve made in any posts about the breed.

And if you want to compare cruelty between bulldog faddists and fox trappers, well, the bulldog faddists are much more cruel.

The only human-inflicted discomfort a fox feels is the few hours it’s caught in the trap.  The dispatch, in this case with .22, is humane and quick.

A bulldog suffers its entire life because it’s been bred to be so deformed.

That’s years of not being able to breathe or cool itself properly. Years of hip dysplasia. Years of poor oxygenation. Years of skin infections.

I could go on.

But if you think you’re going to destroy my arguments by suggesting some hypocrisy in my impassioned defense of hunting, fishing, and trapping and my passionate attacks on dog breeder stupidity, you’re sorely mistaken.

I’ve got my arguments lined out.

They are logical.

Yours aren’t.

That’s why you must come on  here act like a bunch of nattering nabobs of negativity on my blog.

You don’t have any arguments.

At all.

I win.

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They have a bizarre definition of  “naturally.”


When someone tells you that they breed their toaddogs naturally, this is what they mean by it.

It’s not that natural!


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I think it’s unfitting that we call bulldogs by that name.

The name “bulldog” implies that these dogs have something to do with the livestock controlling and bull-baiting dogs of yore.

That implication is an insult to all the real bulldogs out there.

Yes, there are real bulldogs out there. They are called Alapahas and white English and Johnson and Scott American bulldogs.

These dogs herd cattle and sheep, catch wild hogs, and guard farms.

They are truly worthy of the name bulldog.

The thing called a bulldog today just isn’t worthy.

The dog doesn’t merit the name.

So I suggest that we rename it.

It really doesn’t look that much like a dog, does it?

But it does look a lot like a toad!

American toad (Bufo americanus)

See the resemblance?

Canis bufo, the toaddog. They even have the same vacant expression in the eyes, which tells you there’s not a lot going on upstairs!

So from this time forth, this blog will no longer refer to the so-called English bulldog by that name.

We don’t want to insult the United Kingdom.

We really don’t want to insult real bulldogs.

Therefore, we shall refer to this breed as the toaddog.

The toaddog’s main claim to fame is that it is extraordinarily unhealthy because of its bizarre conformation.

It derives from the same ancestral stock as the boxer and the various American bulldogs, but it’s been bred to look like a warty old toad.

And in doing so, its breeders have done a great job of creating a dog that has a short miserable life that is full of crippling joint problems, overheating due to an inefficient cooling system, and chronic asphyxiation due to a partially blocked and distorted respiratory system.

Great job, toaddog fans!

You created a dog that is an absolute travesty of canine flesh.

And just keep doubling down on all that “there all healthy” and “your wrong” and “you must research the bread” talk.

You’re looking like Grade-A horses’ asses.

And it’s showing.


It’s like watching a Tom Cruise meltdown.

Just with dogs.

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